Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
