I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
