talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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