Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
