shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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