Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
