I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
