we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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