i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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