ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
