It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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