:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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