I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
