bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize