Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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