Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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