he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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