Even the bartender felt bad for me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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