yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
