she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
