I could have mohawked her pubes.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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