god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize