there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
