I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
