I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
