(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
