Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
