Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize