I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
