I want to have your abortion
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My bed smells like the plague
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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