Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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