just come out here and I will go home with you...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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