piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
