Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
