I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
