'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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