I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize