I heard we made out
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
