THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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