How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she told me i tasted like america
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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