Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
