just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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