the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
