why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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