would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize