I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
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