I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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