No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
