i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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