Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
