is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
