real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
