best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
