I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
