yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Porn is love you can see.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
