Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
what day is it and did you see me today?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
