all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
