I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
