Sry I called you an 8
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
