When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
