So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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