I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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