North Korea, Best Korea!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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