i permit you to call me
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
