Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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