Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
