It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She said her name was "party"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
