We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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