I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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