Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So vagazzling was a success
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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