Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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