omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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