ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
