Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
