come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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