Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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