What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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