Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
